reminding me of where my blood sprung from.
to eat cats' tongues. to eat tree bark, but not a tree's dry veins. peeled off. i am peeled off of the pavement where i melted in the coal mines' sun. a daughter of dry coughs and hidden colours, i swim like an owl through silence through streets. worn down.
to drink the light of the bus' front lights broken at rain. to drink water from the tap in the kitchen. endless fountain of harsh joy. hard work.
heart blood.
it whispers; pour your worries
into the fire and nurture
there are secrets in the velvet
of the burns on fingertips
you forgot, oh you forgot
how she stroked your hair back when
night sings sad songs, your breath
in tune to oblivion – this we are
never known, we are
never known, silent, like the dance of the flames.
ancient, naive, still half-holy by toffeesmile, literature
Literature
ancient, naive, still half-holy
unaccustomed
to my own name i sleep
on the highest branches
to be reached only
by subtle sounds of dreams
bring empty hands, lay redolence
before my knees;
i know naught of the prayers
but i will pray with you
to specks of dawn
floating in forgotten nights
this is falling asleep to birdsong,
back home,
raining
noises in the backyard. you
are falling
asleep, falling into
warm summer days and light
grey summer
nights - they leave behind a smell of suntan and red wine.
a crime against the cosmic order:
to put all cups on the kitchen shelves
wrong side up.
your gods cry.
we burn at the stake and drown
in city lights, the bright dead noises
and i...
i put honey into my tea in my head
(but i find no real sweetness at my hands)
we will become silhouettes
slowly, first,
like candle wax melting:
you lose the colour in your memories.
my sunflower rainboots
become dust,
stuck in my hair, dust.
the room lies in silence.
behind my ears, i kept a bit of melancholy
but i lost it yesterday.
the winds smoothed out that edge
to your smile that was like the beard of a key,
fitting just right.
we were solid ground.
"forever". now,
the room lies in silence.
we were warm skin, once.
tomorrow, as the day comes up,
we will be left as merely silhouettes.
half-forgotten
you are insane, dear
and that is just as right
as the light coming from the trees
and the fire we all bathe in,
burning away
mortality like the sun of egypt.
rivers have made your eyes
(like mine),
so if you put them in a box on the water, it won't sink.
send messages out to the world,
your dead voice, your false fate,
to watch the way we tumble
down there into the valleys.
fate is found at the bottom of worlds;
truth is wrapped around the core.
you are mad, my love,
(like the badger or the kettle)
but it takes none away
of the ways you are bound to the earth.
spreading too much perfume scent
and a familiar song to clean
this home, this room with no strange corner.
here
is my dust bunny park,
is my hole in the fake-wood floor.
take this melody and a drop of ink like it's yours.
give me your heart and i'll
return it in a violet giftbag.
i can't find much sense in keeping
books in bookshaped boxes anymore,
but then what is what is what is...
will you take me to the oceanside
without moving my feet?
morning, there is
a trace of pink left on the rim of the tea cup on the coffee table(
a perfect stain of your grief), and we're all glass.
see these ghosts? all are haunting themselves, leaving me
to sit on the staircase emptyheaded;
i do not have the death i wish for where i have
a seat next to me and a pearl.
i don't fear the water. used to know
a lady, back arched,
who was seaweed at the coast, so we
we'd never fear water.
just untangle my shoelaces,
my favourite star isn't far from here in the map in my palm.
it was a simple cup, coloured lipstick and black tea, a tonight shattered cup.
i'm making a wreath out of the shards,
to wear you
hands aching for a never,
i eat chocolate sprinkles on my bread,
thinking it should rain,
just thinking
of the netherlands and applegreen earrings.
i am a blue robin, i am
balancing over the twigs just out
the window with my eyes, my face
pressed against the cool (i am forgiving),
with hands aching.